Should A Aspiring Influencer Friend Stop Exploiting Me for Content?

One Side: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?